I can hardly see what's in front of me these days.
George Washington Carver
Kristiana Kortz
“ How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong—because someday you will have been all of these. ”
“ As I have implied, one is not a concept I understand. When I smoked I smoked three packs a day, when I drank, well, let’s not get into that. If your psyche is a balloon animal and you squeeze to eliminate the cigarettes and whiskey, the crazy has to go somewhere. A friend’s mother ate nothing but clams for six months. Morning, noon, and night, nothing but clams. ‘I don’t know what it is—I can’t seem to get enough of them,’ she told her son. He shakes his head, but I understand. I eat nothing but broccoli for a month, then yogurt for six days, then (for one glorious week) lamb chops. One day I roasted a chicken and had seven chicken sandwiches before nightfall. If I like something, I like it a lot. Just one doesn’t cut it. I don’t know what it is I can’t get enough of. ”
Abigail Thomas, Thinking about Memoir
I’ve never had anyone describe something in a better way. If you want to get me a birthday present, this book should do it. :)
As a girl, I watched every single Disney love story known to man. When I was about 5, Beauty and the Beast was my favorite movie. My cousin often tells me about the days when I would run around my apartment in San Diego and shout out “BEAST AND BELLE! BEAST AND BELLE!” until somebody put the movie in. I was enchanted by this world of love and I wanted to watch happily ever afters until the day I finally got my own.
My view of love was based on fairy tales for most of my life. So it came as no surprise to me that when I did start dating, I was disappointed with the way all the boys I called my own ended up to be. I had been cheated on, stabbed in the heart, had my feelings trampled over, and broken time after time. But I still never gave up. I didn’t see the point in life if you didn’t have someone to love.
As I flowed through relationship to relationship, I searched for a deep connection that would lead to a love so alive that my worries would be lifted all my shoulders. I thought I had found it once before, but I ended up alone and miserable just like all the other times.
When I finally thought about giving up, you came into my life. With one kiss you erased my fears of being alone and took away the memories that made me hate love altogether.
Every time you hold my hand, I get butterflies. Every time you kiss me, I fall deeper in love.
You asked me to marry you. I said yes. It was the best decision I ever made.
Even though the big bad wolf tries to make us think otherwise, I know the truth. The past is the past and it’s made us stronger for sure. Our future is big and bright. Don’t leave me, baby.
Here’s to our forgetting our past, enjoying our present, and soaring towards our future.
October 19, 2010
You can see the veins in her hands. They are as blue as a river and as thin as a piece of string. As she examines her flesh, you have to wonder how long her eyes have been that wide. Days? Weeks? Months? Almost a year. In her room in front of her mirror, you can watch her look at herself and wonder what it is she sees. Her hair is too short and all over the place. Her freckles are overpowering. Her collarbone shows and this makes her feel beautiful. Her stomach, so much smaller than before, isn’t small enough to her. Her legs look like sticks and she loves how her jeans fit. Her lips are chapped and her eyes are black holes.
Take one, snort one. Have a cigarette and a drink to clear away that drip. Look around for something to do. Six in the morning and she’s still awake. Today is a new day and she has things to do. So she takes one, snorts one, has a cigarette and a drink to clear away that drip.
She is addicted but she won’t admit it. Little bird tried to fly but her wings were clipped.
“ Hey, I love you and you’re like one of the strongest, most nicest, most giving, most loving, most honest, most generous, most respectful people I’ve ever met in my life. And, I just wanted to tell you that you’re an amazing girl and you deserve to be happier than anyone in this entire world. I’m happy you’re in my life, because you’re a great friend and it’s an honor to be one of your friends. I’m always here for you, Kristiana Kortz Ogren. I’ll always be on your side and have your back. No matter what. I was just thinking about you and I thought you should know all of this. ”
Text message that made my night. :)
“ Yes ur a drama free down to earth that trys to be nice to everyone even if they don’t deserve it. never mean even when u should be and somehow still fun to hang out with. u get shit on by the world and no one takes the time to appreciate what u do for everyone prolly not on purpose but it still happens. so yes u deserve to be happy at all times and if i can do that please believe i’ll feel honored and privileged to be the person to put a smile on ur face. ”
If you don’t know who said that, then you don’t know me. :)
Day 9: Someone You’d Like To Meet (I’m behind, I know)
Dear Zooey Deschanel,
I am obsessed. Not in the creepy stalker fan way but in the way that I would absolutely love to just meet you and hang out with you for a day to see if my expectations of you are correct. You’re fucking beautiful! Keep doing movies like 500 Days of Summer, I love it. I could ramble on but I won’t. Long story short, you’re my favorite actress and probably will be for a while.
Sincerely,
Tiana
